Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
