you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
