I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
