Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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