Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
