It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
