just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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