good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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