That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just high enough for therapy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
