you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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