Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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