how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
this will be a night to untag.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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