i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
