I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this just has baby written all over it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
