forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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