Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
