my sisters under your porch take her home
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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