I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize