spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
