this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
