For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
