just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
