So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
this is an emotional support booty call
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
