I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
