Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
