420 ftw
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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