What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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