Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
