your parents love me but you hate me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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