I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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