Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
