no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
