His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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