Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
