She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
