are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Damn victory sex feels great
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
