He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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