Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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