i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
