woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
