OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
