that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
