This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
