I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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