I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
