I just saw a hot homeless man
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
