I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
