Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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