I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
