addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
