i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
cat food counts as protein by the way
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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