Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
