There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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