No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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