would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
