he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's the barista slut.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
