Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
