i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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