Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize