My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
