I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
