Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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