***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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