No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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