I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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