Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I intend to get homeless drunk
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
