FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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