so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
