and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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