i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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