I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You dont lie about slip and slides
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
