oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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