dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
