I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
