i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize