they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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