But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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