we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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