i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You are a genius and a whore.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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