He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
