Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
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